February 2010
3 posts
5 tags
Toxicity
After my episode with Brandon in 2008-09, I’ve been looking at the type of people I’ve had around me. Those friendships I cultivated as well as the relationships I have in my family. I’ve come to realize that many of those friends were toxic. They were tearing me down in such subtle ways. I’ve come to the conclusion that I attract these people. People that use me for all...
5 tags
It’s like I don’t care abou the future anymore. I still don’t know what i want to do in life… Well, I do. I just have a lot of self doubt. I want to do research. Medical to be more exact. Do graduate work in virology and maybe get a Ph D in genetics. I’m really torn though. I want to focus on viruses more than anything. Maybe we could finally cure them or, really,...
2 tags
With my future more and more uncertain, I am regressing. I have been avoiding my boyfriend like the plague. I don’t want to talk to him. I’m already so attached. WHat happens when I leave? I don’t want to have to feel that pain. I want to make a clean break. He is clouding my judgement, my logic. I know that when I leave, it’ll feel like someone reached into my chest and...
1 tag
I hate feeling so down. Hopefully seeing him will help. If not, then I don’t know what I’m going to do about this…
January 2010
25 posts
10 tags
So confused!!!!
Maybe i’m emotional cause my period is coming soon. Or maybe it’s the fact that i still don’t know what i’m going to do as far as school is concerned. I already applied to 2 universities in Canada as my back ups but I want to stay here so my mom is not alone in raising my little sister. I wish that she would just move back too but she prefers living in the U.S. I also gotta...
5 tags
Valentine's day Week-end
For the first time in my life, i’m actually excited about Valentine’s day. Not because I’m finally going to get something for V-day (I’m not cause we’re too broke). But because I will be spending it with someone who loves me and that I love back. Just being with him is enough. This year, though already having some major downs (like the earthquake) is much better than...
Extremely Disgusting - It's 2010 - This Type of...
zeeluvss:
nonny:
Jordan Miles, Teen Violinist: Beat By Police Over Mt. Dew Bottle
PITTSBURGH — The photos taken by Jordan Miles’ mother show his face covered with raw, red bruises, his cheek and lip swollen, his right eye swollen shut. A bald spot mars the long black dreadlocks where the 18-year-old violist says police tore them from his head.
Now, 10 days after plainclothes officers...
5 tags
I don’t know what to think. I guess you never forget your first but still. What about the person you’re with now? We’re about to take such a huge risk and she’s still in the back of your mind? That tells me right there that we should take a step back and re-evaluate. Ugh!
Whatever…
Earthquake strikes Haiti
sadclownhooker:
This is from cnn.com/impact. If you can spare anything to help, here are some organizations. Don’t forget to do further research on the organizations. And if you can’t give anything, just keep yourself informed.
“A major earthquake struck near Haiti’s capital, Port-au-Prince, the USGS reported. Haiti’s ambassador to the U.S. said one witness described it as a “catastrophe.” Here...
9 tags
God
It’s times like these that I wonder why God allows all of this suffering to occur. Haiti was devastated in 2004 and Gonaive was sevrely damaged by tropical storms in 2008. Why did Port-au-Prince, Haiti’s capital, have to be hit by a 7.0 earthquake? Haven’t the Haitian people suffered enough? And for it to happen near sunset. Now there are thousands of people lying in rubbles,...
4 tags
I LOVE that he dreamt of me as I dreamed of him. He says we’re an odd couple, and that we are but it doesn’t always feel like it. I can’t wait to see him in March. I will make Tallahassee happen one way or the other! Surprinsingly my love life is less complicated than any other aspect of my life right now. 2010 is turning out to be ok…
“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And...”
– St. Augustine (via kimmcclear)
knowingher:
Cruel Intentions by Simian Mobile...
Having sex twelve times a week is equal to running...
in1988:
I KNEW I was having sex for a reason…
8 tags
I don’t know how he does it but he makes me smile. He makes me feel like everything will be okay. He’s there to lend an ear. There to just listen to my probs: no negativity, no stupid logic, just there and sometimes that’s just what I need. How long will this last? I don’t know. With school coming up for the both of us, I doubt that we’ll have the time to continue the...
3 tags
I am having the stupidest convo about 2012 and the end of the world.
1 tag
Why is life so fucking hard?
3 tags
Day 2
My water pipes have burst. I told my older sister to fuck off (but in a polite manner) and I miss him more than ever. Being with him made me forget all the shit in my life. Now I’m left all alone with my thoughts…
4 tags
1st day of detox wasn’t so bad thanks to the move. I gotta keep busy or else I might break…
1 tag
So Heavy
My heart feels so heavy today. I think I need to just shut down for a while, go into isolation. I don’t want to talk about and I am tired of thinking about it.
9 tags
I'm tired of this shit
Here’s a brief background: my mom is a train wreck, i have an 8 year old little sister, i’m 20, my mom’s friend is our roommate who watches my sister and helps my mom out, my mom has no car, my little sister’s father is a deadbeat loser who doesn’t help my mom out at all
The current house we’re renting is going into foreclosure so my mom found another house to...
5 tags
"Do the right thing"
I am going to save all the money I can (apart from increasing my monthly bills by adding cable) so that I will have enough for my plane ticket. I will cut corners everywhere. I will not spend a dime (unless it’s on food). I am an adult. That means acting and being fiscally responsible. I will go back to being a penny pincher and try to recoup the 1,000$ I had to shell out of my savings on...
6 tags
Loneliness
As i was packing up the rest of my belongings and getting ready for the move, I stumbled upon the journal I kept from January-August of 2008. I read entry to entry and found one recurring theme: LONELINESS. I felt so alone at that time. I had no friends (apart from Long) and no one to talk to. My older sister was slowly shutting down and my mom pretending that everything was fine. There were a few...
December 2009
14 posts
3 tags
What should I do about my bisexual thoughts?
I like men. I have never thought about having a relationship with a woman. But I do feel the urge sometimes to do sexual acts with other women. I get turned on from watching lesbian videos. I would like to have a threesome with my boyfriend but I’m afraid to open up that door. Plus, it would be sinning even more. What should I do?
8 tags
Freaking out at 20!
All of my friends (including myself) are sorta freaking out. We’re all in college and realizing that every decision we make from now on will directly affect how our lives will turn out. As a teen, I was used to decisions being made by my parents. I always had my two cents to say about it but never truly understood the difficulty of making decisions. It’s really scary! We’re all...
To Write Love On Her Arms.
soulscorpio:
You were created to love and be loved. You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you’re part of a bigger story. You need to know that your life matters.
Read More
“True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an...”
– Jason Jordan (via zeeluvss)
“Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody...”
– Yeeah (: (via brizzleee)
What I Want to Do:
Work at a morgue
Be a forensic scientist
Do medical research
Do pharmeutical research
Observe and dealing with genetic disorders or communicative disorders
Anything that dealt with exploring medical/psychological problems, determining the cause and finding solutions to them
Now what degree should I get to do any of these things? And what are the title of these jobs?
Scared...
I hate being an adult! I’m so scared that I’m making all the wrong decisions that i’ll end up regretting 10 years from now. What if I’m better off staying in the U.S.? What if I can’t find a job with a Bachelor’s of Science in Biology? What if I don’t get into any grad schools in Canada?
Should I just stick with accounting? It’d would equal only 3...
My Numerology (#7) For the Next Year
“Enjoy this sabbatical from the physical aspects of life, instead focusing your attention on studying abstract ideas, science, mysticism, spirituality and artistic endeavors. Withdraw from the center of things and write books, go to school, meditate and do research. Refine what you began in this nine-year cycle by analyzing and perfecting projects, relationships and goals. In this quiet,...
“To be true to yourself means to act in accordance with who you are and what you...”
“We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a...”
Can't wait for January 1st!
Ever since I got my green card in 2007, I have been writing a list of all the things I want to have and change in the upcoming year. I see each year as a fresh start and try to let go of all the awfulness that happened in the past. I re-read the letters I wrote to my self for 2008 and 2009 and I see that I have not followed the plans I had set to myself.
I hope to change that for 2010. Some of...
My Blog Intro
Hey, my name is Gia. I am starting this blog to document my attempt at changing my current path in life. This blog will be like a semi-diary. Here I will write about the ups and downs of my extraordinary life.
Hope y’all enjoy :)